Lately, I have been doing a lot of thinking about aging as a woman, mother, partner, and goddess. My mother passed away when she 59 but was sick since she was 40 or so. My mother’s grandmother passed away when I was two, and my father’s mother passed when I was around 10. The point is, I have no aging female role models to observe, ask questions, etc. At 37, I am graying, wrinkling, sagging, aching, and more.
I don’t want to let society’s ageist cultural messages and ideas about what the ‘30s, ‘40s, or ’50s mean inform how I see myself. Age is just a number, but aging is an inevitable process. We begin to get older the moment we are born, and nothing we do can stop that process except death. Aging is all about deterioration. Agelessness, however, is not buying into the idea that a number determines everything from your state of health, to your attractiveness, to your value.
I want to embrace and learn to live agelessly. I believe an ageless attitude will help me flourish physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. It is courageous to live like this. The soul is ageless, even if our physical body is not. I am in the process of discovering my ageless goddess self, and I have many ways to express my creativity and experience all the pleasures in life, from feeling good in my body and rediscovering my sexuality, to new projects and new ways of living.
Getting older is not something to fear. The number one thing many doctors say you can do for your health is to live joyously, indulging in sustainable pleasure, living fully and with a sense of joy and adventure. The body is constantly in a state of reinvention, starting at a cellular level and going all the way up. An important part of living agelessly for me is finding a way for my health span to match my lifespan. I do not want to die in the prime of my life, nor do I want to live forever sick, in pain, and miserable.
I want to be an ageless goddess who continues on this post-divorce, single mom, suburban goddess journey, recognizing there are always new things to learn and discover and new relationships to begin. I will continue to be exuberant about life and never give up on my curiosities and playful spirit. It is all about vitality, the creative force that gives birth to this new ageless life.
I believe that the real fountain of youth will be happiness, well-being, and connection to self, community, and the greater divine spirit- whatever or whoever that is for you. For each of us, our path to agelessness is different. You get to decide what makes you feel ageless and how you want to express yourself as such. It means you make your own decisions based not on a fear of looking foolish, but on feeling comfortable in your body and being keenly interested in the world around you.
This Suburban Goddess Mom is embracing the idea of agelessness, guilt free pleasures, self-love, and joy. It will be a daily practice. I will teach my daughter to be ageless too. She will learn to reject the notion that at a certain age her value declines. This lesson starts with me!