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I have numerous “failed” relationships or relationships that just did not work for many reasons. But as I think about it, almost all of them did not work because I was not with someone who balanced or complimented me, which lead to me not being myself fully. With Chris, it is different. He loves me and accepts me fully, balances me, and compliments me so well. But I worry about the future sometimes.

I wonder if we will continue to fit together and grow together or if we will inevitably grow apart. If I am constantly working on my own personal growth and fixing aspects of myself I view as damaged or broken, can he keep up or meet me where I am? I am writing this blog with all the hope in the world that he can, but these days more relationships fail than succeed. And out of those that succeed, are those individuals complacent or accepting of a subpar partner or relationship?

There’s no denying it, relationships are hard work. They take time, attention, communication, care, attraction, and so much more. But, when you find someone you want to be with long term, all that hard work becomes infinitely worth it. Nothing feels better than feeling in love and being the best version of yourself in that relationship. At this point in my life I do not believe someone can complete someone else as much as compliment them.

My ultimate goal for this relationship is to have it based on mutual growth and a wonderful adventure of discovery. Mutual growth cultivates a deeper sense of self, develops the values of integrity, honesty and transparency, uncovers our true selves, and inspires us to be the best we can be as human beings. In this kind of relationship, you realize your highest aspirations and spark change for the common good. I think these types of relationships are rare. And when you find them for yourself or you see them around you, you absolutely know.

Here are some ways to work on growing together:

  1. Be honest with each other from the start
  2. Discuss the future
  3. Be open to compromise
  4. Be straightforward with your feelings
  5. Accept your partner for who they are
  6. Be good to each other
  7. Commit to growing together
  8. Balance time apart and time together
  9. Learn things together
  10. Communicate in a way that allows the other to listen
  11. Laugh together, have inside jokes
  12. Go on adventures
  13. Say you are sorry and own it
  14. Make time to talk about your relationship

When all else fails, remember nothing and no one is perfect, and remember why you fell in love in the first place. Being in a relationship is a choice, and I reaffirm my choice to be with Chris each and every day. Who knows what the future will hold, but I will trust in myself, Chris, and our relationship. This Suburban Goddess Mom is nothing without her faith and belief in positive personal growth.

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