Select Page

I am 37 years old and thinking about going gray. More accurately I am already gray, but I am allowing myself to no longer cover up the gray I already have.

I was 18 when I first spotted a very few gray hairs, a little patch just above my third eye. It was impossible not to notice. I felt a twinge of embarrassment, sure, but I told myself it was fine; I’d just dye my hair.  And so, I began the monthly process of covering my grays like clockwork.  So much time, money, chemicals and shame.

Cosmetologists and colorists, as a general rule of thumb, advise going gray when 80% of your hair is white/gray or when your hair starts feeling increasingly dry and brittle.  I do not believe I am at this point or anywhere near it, but for me and for now, I am ready to try to go gray.

I fear “looking” old. I worry that people will treat me differently, or that people will stop noticing me altogether. I worry that my outside will not reflect how young and free I feel on the inside.  I am worried people will say things, and I won’t know how to answer.  I’m worried about what Chris and my kids will think.  I am worried what I will think.

For some reason, our culture is obsessed with youth and preserving said youth. We overlook the advantages of aging – being wiser, smarter, and more settled in life – in an attempt to look like our younger selves.  There isn’t a grandmother, mother, aunt, godmother, or sister who doesn’t want the younger women in her life to feel confident in their own skin. Often, we learn from our role models, and unfortunately, there aren’t many gray-haired women over 50 in the public eye and very few under 50. If young women and girls don’t see older women being confident as who they are, why should they be? Set an example for the girls in your life of what a real, live woman looks like as she ages. Show them that there’s nothing wrong with embracing who we are; and that any person – small, large, blonde, gray or white-haired – should feel beautiful in their own skin.

 Confidence is beauty. Being true to yourself is beauty. So this Suburban Goddess Mom is going gray, yay!  Besides, if I hate it I can always change my mind and dye it.

%d bloggers like this: