My partner and I have been together for nearly a year. We have been through a lot in this short year but have always managed to find a way to be together, work together, and overcome the obstacles.
Recently, he made a mistake. A huge mistake. It was actually in my idealized relationship rules, a deal breaker. That was before he did it. And now, I am just not sure.
You see, Chris struggles with addiction. He has for his entire life, but he has been sober for our entire relationship and the time prior to it. If you are a regular reader then you know I put my kids safety and well being before anything. I would never engage in a relationship with someone who is using drugs and all the other illegal things that often goes along with it.
Unfortunately, Chris relapsed. It was one day. One day in nearly 365. And I was so angry, hurt, upset, scared, and so many more emotions. Once the initial shock wave passed and we were able to have a completely open and honest conversation, I felt so empathetic. I am not ready to punish him, myself, or my kids for one stupid mistake. It’s clear that he feels horrible and has recommitted to his sobriety and this family.
I don’t know exactly how I feel about the whole concept of addiction being a disease. Partially because in my mind, there is a decision being made. You bought the drugs. You did the drugs. Nobody made you. Of course it is hard to say no, but it is hard to say no to lots of things. One thing I do know is that I believe in second chances and learning from mistakes.
So that is what we are doing: giving it a second chance and learning from this mistake. Don’t worry; my guard is up and my eyes are wide open, but sometimes you have take a leap of faith and this Suburban Goddess Mom has faith in Christopher James Morgan.